#💛

9 poems

AS 21

if you’re hearing this, it’s ’cause i trust you. there’s a lot of detail, high resolution scans.

i take an early flight. nothing good is easy. what am i forgetting? chocolate orange peels.

i program on the airplane to distract from humming in my eardrums; an engine whirring to life in my chest.

she applies the night before risks her body just for more. she knows she has to see it before i remember my face.

jetway’s made of glass, eyes have steel blades. what am i forgetting? 54-inch red shoelace.

“do you want to get the fuck out of this airport?” she picks up both bags before i can say a word.

she borrows a tapedeck. i hold her knee. is this ok? the postal service can’t ship this in a flat rate box.

distance desires ritual we find a matchbook what am i forgetting? ashen coffee. burning.

the next thing i know we’re at the terminal. lipstick can stain more than cardboard cups

time stopped in total: 14 hours, 28 minutes

triumph

you outfit us in leather armor
tie boots tight as heartstrings
we dance and breathe as one
enter prisms — offset blinking
 INFORMATION GLADLY GIVEN
BUT SAFETY REQUIRES AVOIDING
UNNECESSARY CONVERSATION
 
underground, understand a halo
grip my thighs below your wings
breathe — you ask “you ready?”
to leave, to ride, to fly. of course.
don’t look down & don’t let go
become part of a red machine:
a bell, a backpack, a balance
gripping tightly, holding loosely
i am not afraid to ride with you
to glide across rock and sound
my pilot is divine, invincible even
molded contours promise safety
 PLEASE HOLD ON
SUDDEN STOPS ARE
SOMETIMES NECESSARY
 
as we swerve, we synchronize
we’re on an island, smiling wide
small compared to a lighthouse
even smaller against your frame
my sister thought she could fall
along the same route we travel
but i know i fell for you already
ache is just what flight feels like

writst

i clocked the watch once and wished its red hand swept across your face i knew i’d want the date

i saw the toy’s hallmark that predates its maker cupid’s bow pointillism it looked best in color

i slipped on a staircase tripped on slippery oak fell into a concrete pool cut and bruised joints

you caught me there held me — rubbed salt into my fresh wounds to heal and to hurt me

a thin black strap is all that holds back the sun when this camera falls it’ll leak light forever

three solid bands form an unbroken bracelet brass never gleamed until becoming a label

holding mine down against white silk, gray wool, graffiti it’s easy to go deep

mirror

i’m sorry i bumped into you. i thought you were a mirror. your clear surface showed what they saw of me then.

parties are meant for diffusion, but we focused instead. twisting the lens to almost make out what was there.

i’m sorry i couldn’t touch you. i thought you were a mirror. i feared leaving greasy prints for everyone to see.

museums of mailboxes and phones reveal past and future connections. a present — behind smudged display glass.

i’m sorry you didn’t see me waving at you in the city. i thought you were a mirror. you weren’t yet waving back.

being gay is hard sometimes. hotel bathrooms get steamy, you can’t always get the right angle before the image blurs.

i’m sorry we were interrupted. i thought you were a mirror. i never dreamed anyone would walk through it and shatter the glass.

i need to move but i can’t sleep. some things aren’t done yet. i’m hiding from sunrise, from men, under blankets and cardboard towers.

i’m sorry i looked so long. i knew you were a mirror, but i couldn’t spot the vanishing point. some reflections distort; yours perfects.

readwrite

have you ever had a girl cause engineering just for it, though

weeks of design on a one-off built for the thing — to program it

on the airplane commit to it: make it perfect, then install it

when you get there, show it slowly touch a curved shape feel its edges

unarchive it press it with force watch it open, animated

every app must have its settings even if they never vary

have you ever caused a toy to glow from within white light blinking

when you read it you can see it: why it matters, what you’ll put there

have you ever caused a thing to strip itself bare kernel panic!

this will only take a second, last a lifetime deep within you

type it all out hold it down now your domain, name hit the button

have you ever felt an object as it’s written becoming yours

poison

the black bottle kept
just out of reach
of those who fear
my obsidian liquid
a toxicology report:
deadly in large doses
but taken with care
the hurting heals us
sure, share a nightcap
wince with me in pain
we need this to sting
no easier, knowing it
small sips are sweet
deeper drinks, bitter
stone fruit can’t mask
a burning this intense
scared to let you see
me like this — red eyes
pierce pewter framing
you want, no, need to
as the spirit fully hits
there’s no stopping this
            drink.
the cork is broken now

eigengrau

the only way to ignore the sunrise is to close our eyes at daybreak

white light pours through delicate curtain lace— an unseen ocean roiling

more to see and to say as blue waves beckon, calling toward tomorrow

but no matter what we try, there’s no true darkness. light seeps in everywhere

the shade we find there feels almost ultraviolet; we see it together, apart

in separate beds, rooms on opposed coasts, we conjure the same cosmos

this color could be our own. when other lovers see it too, do they know we bathe in it?

108ºC

sunny side up eggs cook with sunshine denaturation begs, bonds across time

waveformed Q train park date prospects PascalCase names everywhere object

polycarbonate layers exposed gold livewire angel of gay prayers film stock, unexpired

bumblebee chapstick seeing in rainbows jet turbine fuel drips one port won’t close

bioavailable

there’s always a question
when i come into contact
with the substance of you.
how much of you can i absorb?
when you enter my bloodstream,
swim my veins where they lead.
the longer your half-life,
the more i’ll feel you there,
coursing through my core.
the closer your shape
gets to nature, the better
i can fully take you in.
drink you or swallow you
or let you dissolve under
my tongue every day as
you transform me with
area under your curves.
when is my next dose?