# #trans 14 poems ## [triumph](https://chromato.graphics/triumph) you outfit us in leather armor tie boots tight as heartstrings we dance and breathe as one enter prisms — offset blinking INFORMATION GLADLY GIVEN BUT SAFETY REQUIRES AVOIDING UNNECESSARY CONVERSATION underground, understand a halo grip my thighs below your wings breathe — you ask “_you ready?_” to leave, to ride, to fly. of course. don’t look down & don’t let go become part of a red machine: a bell, a backpack, a balance gripping tightly, holding loosely i am not afraid to ride with you to glide across rock and sound my pilot is divine, invincible even molded contours promise safety PLEASE HOLD ON SUDDEN STOPS ARE SOMETIMES NECESSARY as we swerve, we synchronize we’re on an island, smiling wide small compared to a lighthouse even smaller against your frame my sister thought she could fall along the same route we travel but i know i fell for you already ache is just what flight feels like ## [incision](https://chromato.graphics/incision) half decade wishes: a leveling out. forbidden kisses the right choice, no doubt central park consult king cole martini review old results discard bikinis photograph the curves archives in high gloss the things i preserve, they’ll surely just toss day before phone calls rage at the system its stops, starts, & stalls need to assist him sleep, holding a heart cleanse every surface wrong name on the chart _of course you deserve this_ wave as the doors close _don’t use the “b” word_ eat eggs as you doze the artwork looks blurred a husband’s phone rings let me inside there treat you like a king hold cups as your care bumpy ride that night late rooftop phone call two beams of bright light never forget fall a week goes by fast managing your pain see yourself at last straight scars and no drain i cry more than you do it hits me deeply this thing that you choose didn’t come cheaply a body transformed like overnight oats years since your plans formed i’ll keep taking notes ## [camcorder](https://chromato.graphics/camcorder) twentysomething object built to take a beating— recording blurry scenes to wound cassette tapes. humming with precision opening up when pressed her red button worndown by many careless owners. secondhand machine with new ways of seeing inside freezing a frame when it can’t take this much in… an observation device for triangular dynamics that separate signal and static projecting what is actual. a new lease on life from repairs to its internals, charging, maintenance, & importantly: regular use. ## [gender.app](https://chromato.graphics/genderapp) pull out my phone tap on the app needs to update… they always do new gradient same icon shape wide colorspace hard to adjust why do we all want to shapeshift? to be seen through filters we make on the G train dark grey sweatshirt black leather boots riding crosstown slider tempts me— drag it slowly no one else stares they just don’t care this is my stop: girl in red dress heels to match her lipstick and tits costume changes inside closets infinite fits incoherence it’s not just me, everyone plays gender’s this game’s in-app purchase micro actions & transactions never enough to fill the space if i’m always searching for it, the right setting, flipping through them will i know when i have nailed it? new release notes: patches the bugs what if i’m stuck inside a loop? keep it running there’s no kill switch ## [ftl](https://chromato.graphics/ftl) random chance meeting sweater that shimmers parties are fleeting your glances glimmer post selfies in slack our dms vanish a coffee date ask making a plan-ish? calls about lost work texts about gender watching your lil’ smirk my heart grows tender shopping for red skirts sharing a small lunch enjoying my quirks i’m having a hunch… flirting a little to see if it sticks too noncommittal? or does it just click late night at a show we let our legs brush at the bar i chose you admit your crush a ride to your place the tension growing sharing a small space finally knowing nervously waiting for you to arrive _fuck, now we’re dating._ we instantly vibe ## [t4t](https://chromato.graphics/t4t) i read that things used to be different for us. that we used to hide behind heavy coats, from ourselves. i read that we’d get compared to cigarettes on the street in broad daylight just for walking the wrong way. things are different for us now. not because we are the majority, but because we are not, and we know that. our difference is our value. things changed because seasons did. the old trees that once ruled the forest have fallen, been subsumed into the soil. things changed because our elders fought for us and their enemies dwindled. life is no less complicated here and now. it may be more so. but that complexity, that intricacy, that is part of what makes this worth it. i went on a date yesterday. they had two faces and three names. his lips felt like safety and possibility and becoming. we didn’t need to connect our brains with wires to see. we spoke the same language, we knew the same songs. our bodies united like an antique lock and key, lubricated with the oil of our passion. i want more. no, i need it. all my friends are trans. i broke up with the ones who weren’t. they understood. change is good. the people that don’t get that will never get us. not all change is for the better, but the potential for growth and for flourishing is all we have. the possibility that tomorrow will be a new day with new rules. and that we’ll be here for each other when it arrives. that we’ll nurture the seeds and each other. that we can. ## [just use mine](https://chromato.graphics/just-use-mine) he’s wanted one, i think, a while still growing his, it takes its time i wonder: _why not just use mine?_ our parts are modular by design they’re aftermarket optimized hot-swappable and still divine then i’m above and he’s below press into him, extend a loan tell him: _touch, like it’s your own_ he strokes it like a precious gift he must be worried, he’ll miss it the gratitude vibrates his wrist he shakes as need remaps the mind and both our systems intertwine we once mistake his flesh for mine i ask him softly if it was good he nods like i rewound the world we had made what no one could ## [poke](https://chromato.graphics/poke) door opens— am i the fool? gloves snap, now i’m playing my role unstained steel tray cradles your tools you wash me clean, i cede control you sketch small leaves in purple ink i play with you, this is our game when it’s all done, what will they think? art, artist, work— all share a name calmly you ask “_ready for stabs?_” there’s not a way for me to know is this your temple or your lab? we share one breath, it’s time to go your sword and your eyes penetrate music and pain blanket my brain sometimes we should disregulate questions pour out, blood from a vein hours pass as you make passes pricks turn into private pleasure when we are through, our flesh collapses every mark is made forever ## [birdcage](https://chromato.graphics/birdcage) you ask me if i’m okay ⸻ with elevators? which strikes me odd, the way your eyes do we board & take flight to the control room, 42 teacups on brass hooks carefully cluttered views press my buttons, down with the same force you use to operate machines. the right pressure matters the doors close around your fingers, lights flicker surging harnessed power i can’t look away, i won’t we fall together back to earth where we stumble into your unmarked van. click of clear recognition the next time i step into your cage you kiss my eyes closed and pull a lever           that                   **stops**                              time we’re suspended⸺ trapped in moments of wrought iron pressed against their grates and each other’s full frames              for as long              as we are,              we get to              be happy ## [stick](https://chromato.graphics/stick) winter cherry, lush pressed to the pane : clear swirling glass, vessels for grapes red print attracts gazes from gays strange artifacts mouths go astray first contact lasts longer than stains washed away fast — much like our brains they always say lips that disguise can’t be the way, but never the why shouldn’t we just paint what we feel even if lips must become the meal ## [“in your
ideal world,
what does
the future
of gender
look like”](https://chromato.graphics/ideal-world) gender abolition pronoun coronation human elocution border dissolution frequent faggotry gorgeous gayety sacred impiety campy pageantry constant questioning mutual strengthening boundary trespassing differents welcoming ## [bioavailable](https://chromato.graphics/bioavailable) there’s always a question when i come into contact with the substance of you. how much of you can i absorb? when you enter my bloodstream, swim my veins where they lead. the longer your half-life, the more i’ll feel you there, coursing through my core. the closer your shape gets to nature, the better i can fully take you in. drink you or swallow you or let you dissolve under my tongue every day as you transform me with area under your curves. when is my next dose? ## [atlantic
  pacific](https://chromato.graphics/atlantic-pacific) i often wake three hours before your sunrise calls for a response logbook already soaked with ink we laugh, but even if we could, _why constrain our outporings?_ one winter day you ask for notes on undersea strings aware of both the timbre and tempo of these songs we start singing together i fall into an evening rhythm talking and yes moaning into the phonograph, my head then swallowed by the brassy cone our voices sound better inside when you open your ears again there’s so much weather to hear : wind and rain and quiet calm that lasts too long and means too much we keep sailing even without a map true, land divides us more than sea, but these two coasts call to us both maybe it’s the sirens or the sounds of wavecrash against the shore — the dangers of unfathomed depths ## [accident(ily)](https://chromato.graphics/accidentily) one fifty-four is not the hour to send texts, no autocorrect risky confessions clipped affections dimmed i love you’s from neon rooms could be a typo should i just lol or say her name, reply the same? an oops can’t erase the thrumming bass as juniper slips from her bruised lips tripping on her tongue _fuck. uhh. drunk. umm._ not that not yet or at least — not like this