#love

11 poems

AS 21

if you’re hearing this, it’s ’cause i trust you. there’s a lot of detail, high resolution scans.

i take an early flight. nothing good is easy. what am i forgetting? chocolate orange peels.

i program on the airplane to distract from humming in my eardrums; an engine whirring to life in my chest.

she applies the night before risks her body just for more. she knows she has to see it before i remember my face.

jetway’s made of glass, eyes have steel blades. what am i forgetting? 54-inch red shoelace.

“do you want to get the fuck out of this airport?” she picks up both bags before i can say a word.

she borrows a tapedeck. i hold her knee. is this ok? the postal service can’t ship this in a flat rate box.

distance desires ritual we find a matchbook what am i forgetting? ashen coffee. burning.

the next thing i know we’re at the terminal. lipstick can stain more than cardboard cups

time stopped in total: 14 hours, 28 minutes

triumph

you outfit us in leather armor
tie boots tight as heartstrings
we dance and breathe as one
enter prisms — offset blinking
 INFORMATION GLADLY GIVEN
BUT SAFETY REQUIRES AVOIDING
UNNECESSARY CONVERSATION
 
underground, understand a halo
grip my thighs below your wings
breathe — you ask “you ready?”
to leave, to ride, to fly. of course.
don’t look down & don’t let go
become part of a red machine:
a bell, a backpack, a balance
gripping tightly, holding loosely
i am not afraid to ride with you
to glide across rock and sound
my pilot is divine, invincible even
molded contours promise safety
 PLEASE HOLD ON
SUDDEN STOPS ARE
SOMETIMES NECESSARY
 
as we swerve, we synchronize
we’re on an island, smiling wide
small compared to a lighthouse
even smaller against your frame
my sister thought she could fall
along the same route we travel
but i know i fell for you already
ache is just what flight feels like

readwrite

have you ever had a girl cause engineering just for it, though

weeks of design on a one-off built for the thing — to program it

on the airplane commit to it: make it perfect, then install it

when you get there, show it slowly touch a curved shape feel its edges

unarchive it press it with force watch it open, animated

every app must have its settings even if they never vary

have you ever caused a toy to glow from within white light blinking

when you read it you can see it: why it matters, what you’ll put there

have you ever caused a thing to strip itself bare kernel panic!

this will only take a second, last a lifetime deep within you

type it all out hold it down now your domain, name hit the button

have you ever felt an object as it’s written becoming yours

poison

the black bottle kept
just out of reach
of those who fear
my obsidian liquid
a toxicology report:
deadly in large doses
but taken with care
the hurting heals us
sure, share a nightcap
wince with me in pain
we need this to sting
no easier, knowing it
small sips are sweet
deeper drinks, bitter
stone fruit can’t mask
a burning this intense
scared to let you see
me like this — red eyes
pierce pewter framing
you want, no, need to
as the spirit fully hits
there’s no stopping this
            drink.
the cork is broken now

eigengrau

the only way to ignore the sunrise is to close our eyes at daybreak

white light pours through delicate curtain lace— an unseen ocean roiling

more to see and to say as blue waves beckon, calling toward tomorrow

but no matter what we try, there’s no true darkness. light seeps in everywhere

the shade we find there feels almost ultraviolet; we see it together, apart

in separate beds, rooms on opposed coasts, we conjure the same cosmos

this color could be our own. when other lovers see it too, do they know we bathe in it?

ftl

random chance meeting
sweater that shimmers
parties are fleeting
your glances glimmer
post selfies in slack
our dms vanish
a coffee date ask
making a plan-ish?
calls about lost work
texts about gender
watching your lil’ smirk
my heart grows tender
shopping for red skirts
sharing a small lunch
enjoying my quirks
i’m having a hunch…
flirting a little
to see if it sticks
too noncommittal?
or does it just click
late night at a show
we let our legs brush
at the bar i chose
you admit your crush
a ride to your place
the tension growing
sharing a small space
finally knowing
nervously waiting
for you to arrive
fuck, now we’re dating.
we instantly vibe

t4t

i read that things used to be different for us. that we used to hide behind heavy coats, from ourselves. i read that we’d get compared to cigarettes on the street in broad daylight just for walking the wrong way. things are different for us now. not because we are the majority, but because we are not, and we know that. our difference is our value.

things changed because seasons did. the old trees that once ruled the forest have fallen, been subsumed into the soil. things changed because our elders fought for us and their enemies dwindled. life is no less complicated here and now. it may be more so. but that complexity, that intricacy, that is part of what makes this worth it.

i went on a date yesterday. they had two faces and three names. his lips felt like safety and possibility and becoming. we didn’t need to connect our brains with wires to see. we spoke the same language, we knew the same songs. our bodies united like an antique lock and key, lubricated with the oil of our passion. i want more. no, i need it.

all my friends are trans. i broke up with the ones who weren’t.
they understood.

change is good. the people that don’t get that will never get us. not all change is for the better, but the potential for growth and for flourishing is all we have. the possibility that tomorrow will be a new day with new rules. and that we’ll be here for each other when it arrives. that we’ll nurture the seeds and each other. that we can.

just use mine

he’s wanted one, i think, a while still growing his, it takes its time i wonder: why not just use mine?

our parts are modular by design they’re aftermarket optimized hot-swappable and still divine

then i’m above and he’s below press into him, extend a loan tell him: touch, like it’s your own

he strokes it like a precious gift he must be worried, he’ll miss it the gratitude vibrates his wrist

he shakes as need remaps the mind and both our systems intertwine we once mistake his flesh for mine

i ask him softly if it was good he nods like i rewound the world we had made what no one could

stick

winter cherry, lush pressed to the pane : clear swirling glass, vessels for grapes

red print attracts gazes from gays strange artifacts mouths go astray

first contact lasts longer than stains washed away fast — much like our brains

they always say lips that disguise can’t be the way, but never the why

shouldn’t we just paint what we feel even if lips must become the meal

bioavailable

there’s always a question
when i come into contact
with the substance of you.
how much of you can i absorb?
when you enter my bloodstream,
swim my veins where they lead.
the longer your half-life,
the more i’ll feel you there,
coursing through my core.
the closer your shape
gets to nature, the better
i can fully take you in.
drink you or swallow you
or let you dissolve under
my tongue every day as
you transform me with
area under your curves.
when is my next dose?

accident(ily)

one fifty-four is not the hour to send texts, no autocorrect

risky confessions clipped affections dimmed i love you’s from neon rooms

could be a typo should i just lol or say her name, reply the same?

an oops can’t erase the thrumming bass as juniper slips from her bruised lips

tripping on her tongue fuck. uhh. drunk. umm. not that not yet

or at least — not like this