use

craving total transformation,
identity a disposed wrapper.
becoming a vessel for want,
glass poured into, overfilled.
you haven’t been here lately.
something in our combining
always begins this reaction:
photochemical excited state
learning how to spark again —
days ago: gel, pumps, bulbs,
rattling pill bottles and nerves,
black gloves, gold foil, silicone.
it’s warmed up enough already.
don’t ask or guess — just know.
take a part you claim as yours,
shape it to your pleasure. use.
time stutters; the gears grind
forward under prying pressure.
repairing hidden mechanisms,
counting every beat yourself.
disappearing deconstruction:
ripped apart by heat and light,
shredded into a thousand tiny
pieces of steel. shrapnel blast.
there is stillness in oblivion,
peace made in the darkness.
clenched fists, soaked linen.
i swear. i won’t move. i can’t.