# chromatographics
## [hinge](https://chromato.graphics/hinge)
door in our place i never open
out of fear and too much want
touch the knob — i am shocked
sounds like a party in there
but where is my invitation?
missing out doesn’t scare me
sometimes, it’s open a crack
scents from the kitchen waft
my favorite dish on the menu
i give up. nothing better to do
splayed on gray wool, rubbing
nothing matches their rhythm
the guests tire, it swings open
streamers and confetti spilling
must be my job to clean ’em up
## [photobooth](https://chromato.graphics/photobooth)
shoes stick to the floor,
we wander past the bar
into a dim red-lit lounge.
pinball, locked door, you.
you’re a seeing machine.
pull your curtain closed—
shroud us in secrets that
end just above our waist.
tap on a train faregate,
a beep reminds us that
transportation isn’t free,
a short trip still costs us.
you’re a seeing machine.
see what we’re made of.
we’re trapped here now,
we can’t hide from flash.
all whirring and waiting.
don’t know how long ‘til
our capture, our release.
we kiss from impatience.
you’re a seeing machine.
our mouths are blurring,
hands in hair, bite marks
in flesh. we have no time.
falling back into the light.
was there music before?
we lean against the box,
we cannot lose contact.
you’re a seeing machine.
you take time to develop.
wait here: a strip will fall.
freeze us in four frames.
## [no](https://chromato.graphics/no)
do i have to belt you?
to overcome a bubbling
or are my words enough
to staunch the flowing
from leaking fountains
pleasure is never free,
even when it is a gift.
beg me with honeysuckle
pollination. allergies.
only believe in denial.
muscle tension, hunger.
dew’s wetter than rain.
desperate questions tie
barricade tape tighter.
no. a complete sentence
the longer we wait here
clock hands move slowly
waiting, praying on the
dripping limestone tile
a sacrifice in purpose.
release is for the weak
but you are strong, no?
every drop metered out.
are you grasping at it?
there isn’t a shortage.
don’t ask me again, now
you know my answer love
age years in the bottle
our flavor concentrates
only believe in denial.
## [dial](https://chromato.graphics/dial)
two-tone composition
unknown destinations
an operator obsesses
over pickup & hangup
one +1 more connected
than 2. you will. _and
the company that will
bring it to you is me_
push digits into holes,
keep spinning until you
feel the click in place
switch arms, hands tire
blinking countless lines,
voice carrying fast & far
on continuous copper wire
silence costs us as much—
draw X’s & O’s in octothorps
sleep clutching our handsets
there is so much to exchange
during long-distance calling
## [entrapped
by Chroma](https://chromato.graphics/entrapped-by-chroma)
meeting a Goddess, sunshine,
envying its divinity & wings
stripping each white feather,
dyeing them all in her blood
sewing souls into mine,
stealing her golden halo
it will never fly again—
riding only in my hand
my fallen angel:
a bruised flower
## [violet](https://chromato.graphics/violet)
your aperture narrows
as _f_ /our voices deepen
sunlight burns through
exposed cloth shutters
we made you to protect
an us we never realized
would be safe as she is
it’s no decorative pansy
darkrooms reveal stains
& splatters under safety
lightbulb, glowing ruby
our eyes don’t adjust yet
we have twins, don’t we?
is it sisters, not twins?
god, no that’s a different
flower entirely — rosemary
## [food](https://chromato.graphics/food)
a girl’s gotta eat,
grow big & strong
food becomes fuel
fired brick oven
i have reservations,
my seat’s set aside
gin martini stirred—
small coin of lemon.
white pressed linens
red leather cushions
polished steel fixtures
scarred marble veins
amuse my palate
gift from the chef
_we kindly request:_
_no sharing allowed_
a girl’s gotta eat,
wash away fears
enjoy my choices
wet lips, appetite
taste first with eyes
each flavor distinct:
salt, grit, acid, burn
hungering for it all
the first bite builds
anticipation of more—
a mindless chewing,
my posture softens
i lick your plate clean
_it’s been taken care of_
have i saved any room?
no, some other time
## [use](https://chromato.graphics/use)
craving total transformation,
identity a disposed wrapper.
becoming a vessel for want,
glass poured into, overfilled.
you haven’t been here lately.
something in our combining
always begins this reaction:
photochemical excited state
learning how to spark again —
days ago: gel, pumps, bulbs,
rattling pill bottles and nerves,
black gloves, gold foil, silicone.
it’s warmed up enough already.
don’t ask or guess — just _know_.
take a part you claim as yours,
shape it to your pleasure. use.
time stutters; the gears grind
forward under prying pressure.
repairing hidden mechanisms,
counting every beat yourself.
disappearing deconstruction:
ripped apart by heat and light,
shredded into a thousand tiny
pieces of steel. shrapnel blast.
there is stillness in oblivion,
peace made in the darkness.
clenched fists, soaked linen.
i swear. i won’t move. i can’t.
## [AS 21](https://chromato.graphics/as21)
if you’re hearing this,
it’s ’cause i trust you.
there’s a lot of detail,
high resolution scans.
i take an early flight.
nothing good is easy.
_what am i forgetting?_
chocolate orange peels.
i program on the airplane
to distract from humming
in my eardrums; an engine
whirring to life in my chest.
she applies the night before
risks her body just for more.
she knows she has to see it
before i remember my face.
jetway’s made of glass,
eyes have steel blades.
_what am i forgetting?_
54-inch red shoelace.
_“do you want to get the
fuck out of this airport?”_
she picks up both bags
before i can say a word.
she borrows a tapedeck.
i hold her knee. _is this ok?_
the postal service can’t
ship this in a flat rate box.
distance desires ritual
we find a matchbook
_what am i forgetting?_
ashen coffee. burning.
the next thing i know
we’re at the terminal.
lipstick can stain more
than cardboard cups
**time stopped in total:**
14 hours, 28 minutes
## [triumph](https://chromato.graphics/triumph)
you outfit us in leather armor
tie boots tight as heartstrings
we dance and breathe as one
enter prisms — offset blinking
INFORMATION GLADLY GIVEN
BUT SAFETY REQUIRES AVOIDING
UNNECESSARY CONVERSATION
underground, understand a halo
grip my thighs below your wings
breathe — you ask “_you ready?_”
to leave, to ride, to fly. of course.
don’t look down & don’t let go
become part of a red machine:
a bell, a backpack, a balance
gripping tightly, holding loosely
i am not afraid to ride with you
to glide across rock and sound
my pilot is divine, invincible even
molded contours promise safety
PLEASE HOLD ON
SUDDEN STOPS ARE
SOMETIMES NECESSARY
as we swerve, we synchronize
we’re on an island, smiling wide
small compared to a lighthouse
even smaller against your frame
my sister thought she could fall
along the same route we travel
but i know i fell for you already
ache is just what flight feels like
## [wrist](https://chromato.graphics/wrist)
i clocked the watch once
and wished its red hand
swept across your face
i knew i’d want the date
i saw the toy’s hallmark
that predates its maker
cupid’s bow pointillism
it looked best in color
i slipped on a staircase
tripped on slippery oak
fell into a concrete pool
cut and bruised joints
you caught me there
held me — rubbed salt
into my fresh wounds
to heal and to hurt me
a thin black strap is all
that holds back the sun
when this camera falls
it’ll leak light forever
three solid bands form
an unbroken bracelet
brass never gleamed
until becoming a label
holding mine down
against white silk,
gray wool, graffiti
it’s easy to go deep
## [bonfire](https://chromato.graphics/bonfire)
we spin on turntables
gift-wrapped bubbles
plotting high treason
one query hangs on
a hook near my thigh
_“how do you want to feel?”_
you produce three words
two supple, one sharp
relaxed. caregiven. surrender.
we better not have another
handle’s cold to the touch
i hold your hand for warmth
fetching a towel and water
unfamiliar closet and faucet
you aren’t used to this, are you?
inside these walls, a forest
i lead you down the worn path
to a fire blazing at the center
it’s just us dancing there —
adjust angles, rhyme rhythms
dig holes with feet and fingers
you haven’t visited in years
moonlight in an empty room
i’ve never been, but will again
draw maps into memory
twist silver, pink, and blue
the way back is circular
## [mirror](https://chromato.graphics/mirror)
i’m sorry i bumped into you.
i thought you were a mirror.
your clear surface showed
what they saw of me then.
parties are meant for diffusion,
but we focused instead.
twisting the lens to almost
make out what was there.
i’m sorry i couldn’t touch you.
i thought you were a mirror.
i feared leaving greasy prints
for everyone to see.
museums of mailboxes and phones
reveal past and future connections.
a present —
behind smudged display glass.
i’m sorry you didn’t see me
waving at you in the city.
i thought you were a mirror.
you weren’t yet waving back.
being gay is hard sometimes.
hotel bathrooms get steamy,
you can’t always get the right angle
before the image blurs.
i’m sorry we were interrupted.
i thought you were a mirror.
i never dreamed anyone would
walk through it and shatter the glass.
i need to move but i can’t sleep.
some things aren’t done yet.
i’m hiding from sunrise, from men,
under blankets and cardboard towers.
i’m sorry i looked so long.
i knew you were a mirror,
but i couldn’t spot the vanishing point.
some reflections distort; yours perfects.
## [incision](https://chromato.graphics/incision)
half decade wishes:
a leveling out.
forbidden kisses
the right choice, no doubt
central park consult
king cole martini
review old results
discard bikinis
photograph the curves
archives in high gloss
the things i preserve,
they’ll surely just toss
day before phone calls
rage at the system
its stops, starts, & stalls
need to assist him
sleep, holding a heart
cleanse every surface
wrong name on the chart
_of course you deserve this_
wave as the doors close
_don’t use the “b” word_
eat eggs as you doze
the artwork looks blurred
a husband’s phone rings
let me inside there
treat you like a king
hold cups as your care
bumpy ride that night
late rooftop phone call
two beams of bright light
never forget fall
a week goes by fast
managing your pain
see yourself at last
straight scars and no drain
i cry more than you do
it hits me deeply
this thing that you choose
didn’t come cheaply
a body transformed
like overnight oats
years since your plans formed
i’ll keep taking notes
## [readwrite](https://chromato.graphics/readwrite)
have you ever
had a girl cause
engineering
just for it, though
weeks of design
on a one-off
built for the thing —
to program it
on the airplane
commit to it:
make it perfect,
then install it
when you get there,
show it slowly
touch a curved shape
feel its edges
unarchive it
press it with force
watch it open,
animated
every app must
have its settings
even if they
never vary
have you ever
caused a toy to
glow from within
white light blinking
when you read it
you can see it:
why it matters,
what you’ll put there
have you ever
caused a thing to
strip itself bare
kernel panic!
this will only
take a second,
last a lifetime
deep within you
type it all out
hold it down now
your domain, name
hit the button
have you ever
felt an object
as it’s written
becoming yours
## [poison](https://chromato.graphics/poison)
the black bottle kept
just out of reach
of those who fear
my obsidian liquid
a toxicology report:
deadly in large doses
but taken with care
the hurting heals us
sure, share a nightcap
wince with me in pain
we need this to sting
no easier, knowing it
small sips are sweet
deeper drinks, bitter
stone fruit can’t mask
a burning this intense
scared to let you see
me like this — red eyes
pierce pewter framing
you want, no, need to
as the spirit fully hits
there’s no stopping this
_drink._
the cork is broken now
## [steps](https://chromato.graphics/steps)
now please, sit back
stretch out your legs
relax awhile —
furniture begs
pull off your boots
i’ll kneel below
slip off your socks
and take it slow
bare both your soles
flex all ten toes
your footstool’s goal:
to be repose
our arches meet —
my back, your curve
almost so much
i don’t deserve
a faint perfume
teases my nose
the smoothest skin
so rarely shows
i’ll work them deep
with oiled hands
their perfect forms
each digit fanned
red lacquered nails
command my eyes
and higher heels
you’ve made me buy
bare, they stay – no
decoration
focus trained on
adoration
pressed on my face
i’ll kiss you there
and lick the base
become ensnared
kick or trample
i’ll take the pain
with shoes sampled
my body strains
pleads for pressure
that space between —
the greatest pleasure:
touch from the queen
release the jewels
that flood within
wetness pools
on shining skin
## [camcorder](https://chromato.graphics/camcorder)
twentysomething object
built to take a beating—
recording blurry scenes
to wound cassette tapes.
humming with precision
opening up when pressed
her red button worndown
by many careless owners.
secondhand machine with
new ways of seeing inside
freezing a frame when it
can’t take this much in…
an observation device for
triangular dynamics that
separate signal and static
projecting what is actual.
a new lease on life from
repairs to its internals,
charging, maintenance, &
importantly: regular use.
## [gender.app](https://chromato.graphics/genderapp)
pull out my phone
tap on the app
needs to update…
they always do
new gradient
same icon shape
wide colorspace
hard to adjust
why do we all
want to shapeshift?
to be seen through
filters we make
on the G train
dark grey sweatshirt
black leather boots
riding crosstown
slider tempts me—
drag it slowly
no one else stares
they just don’t care
this is my stop:
girl in red dress
heels to match her
lipstick and tits
costume changes
inside closets
infinite fits
incoherence
it’s not just me,
everyone plays
gender’s this game’s
in-app purchase
micro actions
& transactions
never enough
to fill the space
if i’m always
searching for it,
the right setting,
flipping through them
will i know when
i have nailed it?
new release notes:
patches the bugs
what if i’m stuck
inside a loop?
keep it running
there’s no kill switch
## [eigengrau](https://chromato.graphics/eigengrau)
the only way to ignore
the sunrise is to close
our eyes at daybreak
white light pours through
delicate curtain lace—
an unseen ocean roiling
more to see and to say
as blue waves beckon,
calling toward tomorrow
but no matter what we try,
there’s no true darkness.
light seeps in everywhere
the shade we find there
feels almost ultraviolet;
we see it together, apart
in separate beds, rooms
on opposed coasts, we
conjure the same cosmos
this color could be our own.
when other lovers see it too,
do they know we bathe in it?
## [108ºC](https://chromato.graphics/108c)
sunny side up eggs
cook with sunshine
denaturation begs,
bonds across time
waveformed Q train
park date prospects
PascalCase names
everywhere object
polycarbonate layers
exposed gold livewire
angel of gay prayers
film stock, unexpired
bumblebee chapstick
seeing in rainbows
jet turbine fuel drips
one port won’t close
## [nude](https://chromato.graphics/nude)
back then, i saw your body just on screens —
pinpricks of light transferred across the line.
soft curves and folds, i felt you in my dreams;
those pictures, now, are burned into my mind.
and then i touched your silken skin at last,
traced these lines with red ink until they dripped,
gripped thighs while kissing slow, then hard & fast,
embraced to warm the places we had stripped.
but now i’m separated from your touch,
yearning for the ways we fit, like jigsaw
pieces you never need to force too much.
despite it all : _i’m here. i won’t withdraw._
you’re nude before my eyes, no matter where.
i’ll drink you up and leave them none to spare.
## [a⸺part](https://chromato.graphics/apart)
thin string between us
stretching miles
connecting our chests
tension we can sense
tugging twine
winding over land
we set it aside
knotted tight
when we’re together
the rope uniting us
untying now
because we’re home
we don’t need help
to touch
when we’re here
## [ftl](https://chromato.graphics/ftl)
random chance meeting
sweater that shimmers
parties are fleeting
your glances glimmer
post selfies in slack
our dms vanish
a coffee date ask
making a plan-ish?
calls about lost work
texts about gender
watching your lil’ smirk
my heart grows tender
shopping for red skirts
sharing a small lunch
enjoying my quirks
i’m having a hunch…
flirting a little
to see if it sticks
too noncommittal?
or does it just click
late night at a show
we let our legs brush
at the bar i chose
you admit your crush
a ride to your place
the tension growing
sharing a small space
finally knowing
nervously waiting
for you to arrive
_fuck, now we’re dating._
we instantly vibe
## [t4t](https://chromato.graphics/t4t)
i read that things used to be different for us. that we used to hide behind heavy coats, from ourselves. i read that we’d get compared to cigarettes on the street in broad daylight just for walking the wrong way. things are different for us now. not because we are the majority, but because we are not, and we know that. our difference is our value.
things changed because seasons did. the old trees that once ruled the forest have fallen, been subsumed into the soil. things changed because our elders fought for us and their enemies dwindled. life is no less complicated here and now. it may be more so. but that complexity, that intricacy, that is part of what makes this worth it.
i went on a date yesterday. they had two faces and three names. his lips felt like safety and possibility and becoming. we didn’t need to connect our brains with wires to see. we spoke the same language, we knew the same songs. our bodies united like an antique lock and key, lubricated with the oil of our passion. i want more. no, i need it.
all my friends are trans. i broke up with the ones who weren’t.
they understood.
change is good. the people that don’t get that will never get us. not all change is for the better, but the potential for growth and for flourishing is all we have. the possibility that tomorrow will be a new day with new rules. and that we’ll be here for each other when it arrives. that we’ll nurture the seeds and each other. that we can.
## [just use mine](https://chromato.graphics/just-use-mine)
he’s wanted one, i think, a while
still growing his, it takes its time
i wonder: _why not just use mine?_
our parts are modular by design
they’re aftermarket optimized
hot-swappable and still divine
then i’m above and he’s below
press into him, extend a loan
tell him: _touch, like it’s your own_
he strokes it like a precious gift
he must be worried, he’ll miss it
the gratitude vibrates his wrist
he shakes as need remaps the mind
and both our systems intertwine
we once mistake his flesh for mine
i ask him softly if it was good
he nods like i rewound the world
we had made what no one could
## [poke](https://chromato.graphics/poke)
door opens— am i the fool?
gloves snap, now i’m playing my role
unstained steel tray cradles your tools
you wash me clean, i cede control
you sketch small leaves in purple ink
i play with you, this is our game
when it’s all done, what will they think?
art, artist, work— all share a name
calmly you ask “_ready for stabs?_”
there’s not a way for me to know
is this your temple or your lab?
we share one breath, it’s time to go
your sword and your eyes penetrate
music and pain blanket my brain
sometimes we should disregulate
questions pour out, blood from a vein
hours pass as you make passes
pricks turn into private pleasure
when we are through, our flesh collapses
every mark is made forever
## [birdcage](https://chromato.graphics/birdcage)
you ask me if i’m okay
⸻ with elevators?
which strikes me odd,
the way your eyes do
we board & take flight
to the control room, 42
teacups on brass hooks
carefully cluttered views
press my buttons, down
with the same force you
use to operate machines.
the right pressure matters
the doors close around
your fingers, lights flicker
surging harnessed power
i can’t look away, i won’t
we fall together back to
earth where we stumble
into your unmarked van.
click of clear recognition
the next time i step into
your cage you kiss my
eyes closed and pull a
lever
that
**stops**
time
we’re suspended⸺ trapped
in moments of wrought iron
pressed against their grates
and each other’s full frames
for as long
as we are,
we get to
be happy
## [stick](https://chromato.graphics/stick)
winter cherry, lush
pressed to the pane :
clear swirling glass,
vessels for grapes
red print attracts
gazes from gays
strange artifacts
mouths go astray
first contact lasts
longer than stains
washed away fast —
much like our brains
they always say
lips that disguise
can’t be the way,
but never the why
shouldn’t we just
paint what we feel
even if lips must
become the meal
## [“in your
ideal world,
what does
the future
of gender
look like”](https://chromato.graphics/ideal-world)
gender abolition
pronoun coronation
human elocution
border dissolution
frequent faggotry
gorgeous gayety
sacred impiety
campy pageantry
constant questioning
mutual strengthening
boundary trespassing
differents welcoming
## [bioavailable](https://chromato.graphics/bioavailable)
there’s always a question
when i come into contact
with the substance of you.
how much of you can i absorb?
when you enter my bloodstream,
swim my veins where they lead.
the longer your half-life,
the more i’ll feel you there,
coursing through my core.
the closer your shape
gets to nature, the better
i can fully take you in.
drink you or swallow you
or let you dissolve under
my tongue every day as
you transform me with
area under your curves.
when is my next dose?
## [atlantic
pacific](https://chromato.graphics/atlantic-pacific)
i often wake three hours before
your sunrise calls for a response
logbook already soaked with ink
we laugh, but even if we could,
_why constrain our outporings?_
one winter day you ask for
notes on undersea strings
aware of both the timbre
and tempo of these songs
we start singing together
i fall into an evening rhythm
talking and yes moaning into
the phonograph, my head then
swallowed by the brassy cone
our voices sound better inside
when you open your ears again
there’s so much weather to hear :
wind and rain and quiet calm that
lasts too long and means too much
we keep sailing even without a map
true, land divides us more than sea,
but these two coasts call to us both
maybe it’s the sirens or the sounds
of wavecrash against the shore —
the dangers of unfathomed depths
## [accident(ily)](https://chromato.graphics/accidentily)
one fifty-four
is not the hour
to send texts,
no autocorrect
risky confessions
clipped affections
dimmed i love you’s
from neon rooms
could be a typo
should i just lol
or say her name,
reply the same?
an oops can’t erase
the thrumming bass
as juniper slips
from her bruised lips
tripping on her tongue
_fuck. uhh. drunk. umm._
not that
not yet
or at least —
not like this